Get out of my life
by gnt000q
Summary: Series of one shots of two unfiltered a-holes talking with one another


"You know what? I changed my mind. I don't want to be a part of your life anymore, nor do i want you to be a part of mine. Thank you very much for everything Yukino san."

I bowed in the most proper way I know. The way what politicians or actors do when they make a unforgivable mistake, like taking a mistress or killing a man...or...I really need to watch more TV. As I bent down with the best posture I felt my back crack and something definitely got pulled. Although my lack of biological knowledge had no idea what it was other than it being something in my body. As I kept bent down I looked at the floor and the neighboring surrounding which is nothing but chaos. Meanwhile Yukino still hadn't replied and kept silence.

"Okay. I understand."

What? I sprung back up to look at her directly. She looked at me with a nonchalant face as if a stranger had asked her the time. Slightly taken a back she continued to fiddle with the card she was previously writing.

"You understand?"

"Yes I do."

"Uh huh."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

Disappointed i sat back down and took a sip of my now cold cup of tea. Still irritated by her lack of emotion. I would have gotten more emotion out of a brick wall that what was displayed I thought to myself. I've known this woman since i was 17 and thats the reaction or lack of reaction she gives me?

"Wait seriously? Nothing?"

Taken slightly aback by my reaction Yukino sat up straight placed her tiny hand in front of her mouth and let out two tiny coughs to prime her voice. Her mouth instantly frowned and her dace looked distraught. She let out a small weep like everything she know and loved had been betrayed... Is what she was trying to do if her acting wasn't as terrible as a third grade child or how the scenario reeks of sarcasm.

"You don't want to be part of my life anymore? Why? Why would you say such a thing? I've loved you and given you my everything...my first kiss...My virginity... Everything... and now you just want to abandon me? Why?"

She let out two more small coughs and returned her posture to her normal one. Her previously acted out face was now completely gone and returned back to previously nonchalant state.

"Happy?"

"Not particularly."

"Wasn't that what you were looking for?"

"Yes. But your reaction sucked. Perhaps why did you say 'okay' in the beginning?"

"Because following your plans and doing the back and forth act is unoriginal, boring and a complete waste of time. Saying okay would have ended it all without dragging the meaningless conversation any longer."

I didn't think of that. Perhaps this is her apartment if I wanted to leave I would just pack my things and leave one afternoon. Although the ramifications will surely be severe. After all no one pisses off the Yukinoshitas's, primarily the first daughter which is a sis-con and the father which is a daughter-con. Although the mother is not to be trifled with because she is the definition of bitch in any dictionary.

"So when are you packing your things and leaving. After all, you are trespassing and I will notify the authorities once I finish this card. Of course you can leave now and I will give your things via courier. But I don't think they delivery to homeless, gross men living under a bridge."

Wow. What makes you think Im going to be homeless. I have a real job capable of affording proper housing you know? Just 10 times smaller than here and without furniture. But still housing.

"I can afford a place. Worse case I'll crash back home or in Komachi's."

"You honestly think your parents would allow you back in their home now that you've ended your relationship with me? Perhaps there's no way Komachi san will give up her freedom for a brother-con like you to ruin her social life."

"My sweet sister will never abandon me."

"Is that why she moved into your room the day before you moved in so you had to sleep on the sofa? Thats true sibling love right there."

Yukino clapped several times sarcastically. She leaned back and crossed her legs. Her skirt slid up and I could see her godly legs displayed in all of their glory, smooth pink skin that I would like to just hold onto and more. I feel my cheeks go red and looked away as hard as I can only to notice the hint of white from her laced panties. She chuckled at my reaction to slid closer than placed her lips mere centimeters from my ears.

"Maybe once we finish off here...we could have some fun in the bedroom."

Her soft whisper was like a bite from a venomous snake. Freezing me in place and unable to move. I took a deep breath and scowled slightly looking back into the mess. I pulled out the next item out of the hundreds and quickly opened the wrapping. Throwing the wrapping away before plucking the card attached to it. I took a deep breath to read the contents.

"In the event of a divorce. Please return to Isshiki Iroha. PS i cant really afford this so please pay me back or return the item. Thanks senpai."

Yukino glared. Snatching the present from me and violently opening it up.

"So a crappy tea set from Isshiki san."

She quickly got the tea-set out of the box carefully, set it aside and then reached for the closest sharp object. In this case the pen she was using to write the thank you cards. She held the pen back hand and violently stabbed the box. Diminishing any chance for the item to be returned before throwing it into the bin with the rest of the wrapping paper. I look at her bewildered, fearful for my life and seriously reevaluating all my life choices.

"That was a lot of stabbing"

"No it wasn't. I was merely trying to reduce the size of the box so it would not clog up the bin."

"By stabbing."

"Just another method. I had no box cutter. Perhaps Isshiki san should really learn the value of money and not buy something she cannot afford. Ps. You will not be reimbursing her or you will have the same fate as that box."

"Stabbed and mutilated?"

"No. Thrown away."

"Ah.. Right. Haha."

"And lightly stabbed."

Yukino smiled brightly and giggled. I would be running away if she wasn't so damn pretty and cute. Plus i am really looking forward to finish writing these cards to do that thing with her in the bedroom... Although doing it in the shower isn't a bad idea either despite it being a slipping hazard. I couldn't help but smile.

"I thought I was the one that does the stabbing in our relationship."

"Watch it. Hachiman."

"I take it back. I am sorry please forgive me."

* * *

After completing our thank you cards I laid exhausted with Yukino clenched up cuddling beside me, making one side of my body way warmer than the other. So much so that I think I could change my name to Shouta. Speaking of thank you cards who's dumb idea was it that we had to thank everyone that gave us a gift? Why do I have to spend an equal amount of time on someone I barely even knew compared to someone close like my own sister. If anything it should be based on monetary value. Such as anything under 10000 yen would get nothing while anyone above will get a mass email from my phone whilst family, 'friends' or people that contributed something incredibly expensive would get a card. Perhaps, I didn't ask for a wedding that costs a ridiculous amount of money plus involved more people than the population of China...Well at least we made a profit from it... My thoughts of our awful wedding was suddenly disturbed by a slight cat like poke on my chest.

"Say Hachi..."

"Yes."

This is not a good time to talk to her. My brain is so flooded with post coital hormones that i would say yes to anything. Especially with that cute bright pink blushing face.

"You said you would give your life to me right."

"Yeah.."

"Could you give your life to one more person."

"You wanna have a threesome? I'm not okay with another dude in you but another girl could be fun. I'm sure Isshiki or Yuigahama would be in with some convincing.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid joke. Why did I have to ruin such a wholesome moment. Just enjoy the warmth of her and the sheets and the softness of the bed and just shut up.

Yukino's previous warm attitude shifted and she glared. My dumb mind has ruined what could be a nice night and she slightly scooted away. I tried to defuse the scenario with a slight laugh.

"I am a hundred percent kidding."

"Answer my question."

"No of course not."

"Oh well thats disappointing. I guess daddy doesn't love you."

She spoke downward facing her stomach. Shocked in disbelief i held her tightly with my arms around her. Squishing my face onto hers. If anything it seemed like she was attacked by a massive koala bear.

"What really!?"

"I cant breath...and maybe. I haven't gotten my period for a while."

I chuckled and kiss her deeply on the cheek.

"You sure its not menopause?"

"Idiot."

She smiled bright as the sun, like a beaming light in the darkness of the night. All was well.


End file.
